Dealing With It

I'm sorry if this is obvious to others, but I'm learning new things. I've never had anyone who was very close to me die before...therefore I've never seen how other people deal with someone who's grieving. So, consider this as an open letter to anyone who has, or wants to, awkwardly try to comfort me. (And, I apologize if this is offensive-it's your choice to read it).

My thoughts on being in mourning:

-I want to scream at everyone and tell them what happened...and ask them why they're going about life as if the world's still spinning.

-In contrast to that last thought, I don't really want anyone to know. If I say it out loud, that'll make it true...if I don't, I can pretend it didn't happen.

-Also, I don't want anyone to know because they'll feel sorry for me. I like attention, but not pity. Pity isn't going to change anything, and just makes me feel bad for myself.

-If I don't bring it up, please don't feel it's necessary to say anything to me about it. If I want to talk about it, I will.

-Don't act like you care just because you think you're obligated to. Fake sympathy is worse than no sympathy at all.

-Don't ask me: How I'm doing, How I'm dealing with it, If there's anything I want or need, or any other pointless question. If there was anything you could do, I'd let you know...but nothing you can do will change what happened.

-Lay off. Please.

-If I seem in a good mood, it's probably because I've distracted myself with something else for the time being. Don't ruin it by mentioning your thoughts on what happened.

-Similarly, if I seem to be in a bad mood, don't ask why. It's obvious.

Quite negative, I know, but these have been my thoughts lately. My tolerance for people is a lot lower now than usual, and I've been feeling like if I didn't get these feelings out, I'd explode. Probably at someone who had nothing to do with any of this. So...I blogged.